No Excuses

Everyone has done it. We've all blown a call or had a bad game. It's going to happen and guess what, it's more than likely going to happen again. How you handle it is what separates you from everyone else. There are so many ways that an Official can handle themselves when dealing with a coach or player who believes that they were slighted by your call. There's arrogance, and I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean that in the sense that you have to come across like you know that you are right. Then there's apologetic and then there's making excuses. This is the last thing that you want to do. Never make an excuse for missing a call. That's a great way to lose the respect of everyone involved, not to mention lose control of the situation. You have to have a balance of the arrogance and apologetic. You have to know that no matter if you missed something or not that the play goes on how you see it, but you have to be able to swallow that pride and on occasion admit that you screwed up. I have learned that when you do in fact miss a call, and you will, a coach has a lot more respect for you if you can say "hey, I missed it. I know I did and that's my fault. Sorry coach, I'll try to keep an eye on it from here out." Being able to say this is not a sign of weakness, in fact, it is the exact opposite. By doing this you just took all of the power in the situation. You just took every argument that that coach had and threw it out the window. What's he supposed to say now, "well you'd better"? Ok, you just told him you would. If you go over with the "I'm always right" attitude all that brings is a very unproductive argument. If that ensues then no one wins. Maybe you see being able to apologize as making excuses. Its noT. Trust me. If you were to go over in the same scenario and say "I didn't see it. I was screened." Now look what you've done, not only have you admitted to missing this call, but you've just told this coach that you were out of position. You've just compounded his argument and given him another reason to be angry with you. Now, see the difference? In admitting your mistake you took the power. When you made the excuse for missing it you gave all of the power away and made the situation worse.
Here's the thing, I'm not saying that you should apologize every time a coach wants to yell at you. If you did that you'd never get to stop. What I am saying is that if you mess up and you get called on it, say you did. Believe me I know that we all have to have that sense of a little arrogance. You have to. You have to believe that every call you make is the right call and you have to have the guts to stand behind it. That goes for your partner's calls as well. There will be times when you are questioned for a call that he makes. NEVER apologize for him. The rule of admitting mistakes applies only to yourself. That being said, stand up for him, tell the coach that it was his call and you stand behind it. Keep these conversations short. Even if you believe that it was the worst call ever made stand behind him on it and don't take his decision on how to handle his call out of his hands. Back to that little bit of arrogance you need to possess. Having it is a good thing. I've said before that we as Officials need to be a lot like goalies, having short memories after games. We also have to be like a Boxer. I say this because a Boxer must believe that every time he steps in to the ring he is going to win the fight. If he didn't believe this he'd never leave the dressing room. That's a lot like how we have to believe that every time we step out onto the ice we are going to make the right calls. You have to have that same chip on your shoulder knowing that regardless of what happens you always have the final say.
This is a very delicate balance of two contradictory attitudes. There is no exact science to handling on ice situations. If there were there wouldn't be such tremendous turnover with new and young Officials. These guys are the real reasons I'm writing these posts. They come from my experiences and things that I have learned either through others or from trial and error. You are going to get yelled at, a lot. If you know how to handle it you have a better opportunity to succeed. Just remember the trick in this one is to NEVER make an excuse for missing a call. Take control, don't give control away. With that comes respect.