As I previously said I gave up hockey completely. In the time frame mentioned I hadn't watched a single game. I couldn't even tell you who won the Stanley Cup in those years. I guess you could say I resented the game. That's when fate stepped in. My best friend knew that I really liked Alex Ovechkin so he saw that the Capitals were going to be in Nashville for a late Pre-season game. My birthday is in mid-October so he got the two of us tickets to go down as a birthday gift for me. As much as I wanted nothing to do with it I couldn't say no. He had already got the tickets and being it was a surprise it was too late to find someone to take my place. Reluctantly I went.
Now, before I get into what happened at that game I must preface it with an explanation. Up to that point in my career I wasn't like I am now with following Professional Officials. For those of you who follow me on Twitter you know that I am probably a bigger fan of the Officials than I am of any team. This was not always the case. I never saw them as people I could learn from. They were inaccessible, too elite. So, I really didn't pay them much attention. This is the point where all that changed.
My friend and I got to our game. It had been a fun trip down so far and it hadn't really set in that I was going to watch my first hockey game in 2 years yet. He hadn't shown me the tickets so I had no idea where we were sitting. Being an NHL Arena I figured we would be in the upper bowl somewhere. We walked in and went to our seats, but instead of heading up like I had assumed, we headed down. 6 rows off the ice, bench side, right on the blue line. The best seat to that point I've had for a professional hockey game. The puck dropped without much care from me. I was to say the least, disinterested. That's when the love for the game took over. More and more I started to pay attention, but not to the game itself, but to the 4 guys on the third team on the ice. Mike Hasenfratz, Marcus Vinnerborg, Brad Lazarowich, and Derek Nansen. I couldn't take my eyes off these guys, but one stood out in particular, Derek Nansen. To this day I don't know what it was about him, but I was enthralled. That's when it happened. It was about halfway through the third period. There was a play along the boards right at the blue line. Nansen had nowhere to go. He got a bit tangled up in the play and he took a stick up high. You could tell it stung him, but he stayed with the play and made what turned out to be the right offside call. This is, I know, something that happens to a linesman all the time, but something about this clicked with me. He was "hurt", but he stuck with it. He didn't give up on the play and made the right call. At that instant I made my decision. I was going to earn my stripes back. I was going to do whatever it took to once again do what I loved. This was my game and no one was going to keep me from it any longer.
Against all advice and with everyone telling me I couldn't do it, I laced up my skates again. I started with an adult hockey class that is offered here. That first step I took out on the ice was the shakiest I had taken since I first put on a pair of skates, but I didn't fall. I stayed up. Needless to say I had lost all of the control and footwork that I had once had, but here I was, doing what they told me I would never do. With every trip out I got a little more confident. I had a lot of fear, but I kept pushing myself. Remembering that moment that changed everything. "Shake it off and stay with it". I did and although I am nowhere near the skater I once was I can feel it all coming back.
I have accomplished what I was told I never would. I am once again a USA Hockey Official. There are many people out there who have helped me get to where I am today. Derick, who knew my passion for officiating and asked me to help him out while I learn from him and get my feet back under me. Chad, who has taken me in as his unofficial mentee and been there to keep my head on straight. Jamie, who has been the best friend a person can ask for and who has listened and talked me through all my doubts and fears with coming back to this game. Then there is all of you guys on Twitter who have done more than you will ever know just by being a friend. All of this though I never would have had without Derek Nansen. Had it not been for him I can't say for certain that I would have any of the aforementioned people in my life. I would love to just be able to tell him Thank You. He has no idea of what he has done for me, and frankly, unless this somehow gets passed along to him, he probably never will. Just in case though, Mr. Nansen you changed my life in one action that I'm sure happens so often you don't even remember. I'll never forget it, because it saved me from myself. It gave me the hope that I could preserver. It told me that its ok to fall as long as you get up. Its because of you that I am the person I am today. Not perfect, but continuing to work everyday. Never giving into my fear. Not listening to the doubt. Rising above to be what I want to be and once again enjoying the game I love. Thank you for everything, Mr. Nansen.
